in many ways, I have been feeling disconnected from myself lately.
how? when all I have been doing is spending time with myself.
the thought. I am not where I want to rises.
where do I want to be?
Mexico! I am reminded of Frida Kahlo, and for the first time in my life.
I understand her work.
I have seen it a thousand times, studied it, read about her work.
I have lusted over her work, like a demented artist - who wishes -
I wish I could make something so beautiful as her work.
I am sitting in my beautiful Brooklyn apartment. The sounds of the garden, hood, fireworks as my backyard.
but I wish my life was different.
that's what her work was about - wanting - dreaming -conjuring -
and existing in a plane that is not the reality of your life.
The suffering from the extension of our hearts from loving men or women at the cost of existence in this world.
so when the heart finally breaks- the world we wished for exists.